Trumbauer

As I posted Friday, on Saturday I went to a competition for thespians called "Trumbauer". I woke up at 5:50 in the morning and got dressed nicely. It was dark and freezing when I left the house. I had stayed out til midnight the night before (my dumb fault) so on the bus I took a nap. We ended up getting lost, but we made it in time. My interview was early (9:35 AM). I was very disheartened by it. It seemed they hated my script, because I heard all the other interviews and they would tell them good things they did, and things they should have done. They only told me one or two things I did good, then spent about four to five minutes telling me all the sucky things I did. I was very disappointed in myself and I was sure I didn't make state, so I decided to go home and go to sleep.

Around 5:30 PM I was laying down on the couch, thinking about how the awards ceremony must be over by now and I heard my cellphone vibrate. I pulled up the text and it was from a number I didn't have saved, but it said:

"U made it to state".

I immediately knew it was my friend, Kayla.

"NO WAY"

I replied.

"Yeah. lol"

She thought someone else had already told me, but they hadn't, and I was so excited, I didn't know what to do with myself! It was an amazing feeling.

Later I got to look at the score sheets from the judges, and I had barely made it with a score of 40 and 41 (40 is the minimum to go to state). Now I just hope I can revise my script and sent it in and win at state!

Excitement is Weird...

So, you all know I've been stressed. I made a post about it not to long ago, but today, I'm really...excited?

The play (Dear Lord, be with us during it) is next week! Ah, I bet it'll be amazing!

And I'm writing a novel. I have been since the beginning of school, and now--24+ pages later--I'm almost done with chapter 1!

Then there's all these leadership things I've been going to. I have to miss this month's, because it's during tech week, but I'm going to a different one during school Thursday (which is opening night!!)

Tomorrow is Trumbauer, which is a competition for Thespians. I submitted a script for their script writing competition, and I have an "interview" I have to do at the competition. It will be very fun and an interesting experience I hope.

Then there is football. My high school is in the play-offs, and we expect them to go all the way this year. My best friend is a senior cheerleader, so my mom wants to go to most if not all the games this year. I love going because I get to cut lose and have fun with my friends. I feel like I don't get that enough.

After this next week, life will go back to being pretty slow. I'll be going home after school everyday except Mondays and Tuesdays. Hopefully my friends will be able to hang out with me more now though. And I'll be able to study more. So the end of this chapter has its pros and cons.

But overall I'm just excited.

Why I Write

Yes, I missed "National Writing Day" but now we are in "National Novel Writing Month" and while I do not have time to write a 50,000 worded novel (especially since I'm busy working on the one I've already begun) I do want to speak a little bit on why I write what I write.

I write hero stories because I want to save a life.

I write sapphic stories because I believe the gay community needs more "happy" literature. (Sometimes it is happy, I promise).

I write my mood because I feel better after words. I like to read my feelings and pretend for a second those words are someone else's and there's no need for me to be so sad.

I write reality because I want to give people hope that in this dark world, there is light.

I write essays because I like to tell people my opinion.

And I wrote this because at first I was angry. But now I feel better. Thanks, Writing!

Charlie Brown Understands Me

Depression

"Depression" quickly onset this morning. I can't be sure of the catalyst, but I have some clues.

My eyes, they do not want to even look so far up as to the screen right now as I type. I have to trust that my fingers are not pressing two keys at once, terribly hurting my already atrocious spelling.

I'm tired. I just want to sleep. I do not want to eat or be at school, I just want to sleep until I feel better.

But will I ever?

In this state, it's hard to see the bright side.